Having one of those days...

I am feeling a little sad…

I know we have so much to be thankful for… our China adoption is actually moving so much faster than we had anticipated but It is hard to wait...and wait...and wait without knowing when we will actually get to meet our little girl.  It’s hard when we know that a piece of our hearts is in a foster home halfway around the world. 

It’s so hard to hold a picture in our hands and look into her almond eyes wanting to just hold her tight and never let go.  

We are so ready to finally meet her! Unfortunately, we still have so many steps to go through before we actually get to meet her. 

For now, we will continue to pray and wait...

One step closer...

The home study process has been by far the most difficult aspect of our adoption so far. This will be our third home study (you would think it gets easier but that’s not always the case). It has taken so long to gather the required documents and schedule home visits. It has been frustrating but thank God we are almost done!

At first we had to provide updated clearances, medicals, financials, adoption education certificates etc. Then we had to complete (lengthy) questionnaires which served as basis for our talks during visits.

 1/16/13 we traveled to our home study agency (about 1 hour away) to complete our first visit. We were interviewed together and talked about our childhoods, education background, family traditions, our marriage, our experience with children etc.

1/25/13 We travel to our home study agency again, this time we were interviewed separately and talked individually about our strengths and weaknesses, expectations about our child, how we will promote bonding, views on discipline etc. (because the interviews were done separately it counts as visits 2 and 3).

1/29/13 Social workers came to see our home and conduct our final visit

 Our home is always neat and organized but there was the extra pressure to make sure our home was extra sparkly :0) so for the past few days we were busy  re- arranging, cleaning and organizing.  Our home looks so nice I think we should eat dinner out so we don’t get the kitchen dirty  :0)

Overall, things went well, and with that, our home study visits are complete!

Yey, another step completed, and another step closer to our baby girl!

I & A

More baby steps...

More baby steps…

We have completed 2 more office visits yeah :0)

Thank goodness we are almost done with the home study, can’t wait!

We still have the USCIS process and then the dossier process so we still have ways to go. Hate the wait for paperwork (it should not take this long) so frustrating but we have to keep telling ourselves we are closer than we were just a few months ago. We know that once our dossier goes to China that wait will be even more difficult so we have to find ways to keep busy. For now I have been getting ideas from Pinterest so I plan to start a few simple projects while we wait for Cupcake. I will post my progress here- Of course we will continue to read and prepare to welcome our baby into our lives and home…

Here’s a picture some cute outfits purchased from Janie & Jack :0)

(They are cuter than what it shows in the pictures)

    Just couldn't resist!

  

the joys of retail therapy...

Daddy in training :0)

Awww baby doll for our Lil' Cupcake 

(Here's a picture of baby doll)

                                                             

 OK so I have been shopping (a lot!)

On my defense, I am expecting a little girl :0) Who can possibly argue against that? Shopping makes me feel as if something is really happening with our adoption- it makes it fees more real (does that make any sense?) 

I figure retail therapy is less expensive than going to see a therapist to discuss how I am coping with the adoption process :0)

Here’s how I rationalize shopping

Me shopping = splurge

Purchases for baby= necessary :0)

Thanks to my dear husband, one of the things I try to keep in mind when making purchases is quality (of course every item must be cute as well)

My Honey has taught me a lot about the harmful effects caused by chemicals and byproducts used in many products purchased and how they can affect health and wellness so I try to keep that in mind when buying stuff especially for our kiddo.  

I am not a self-proclaimed tree huger or anything like that Just want to make sure am making better choices to keep our family and home healthy.

I purchased several Under the Nile organic pieces of clothing for our baby girl.

(can’t wait to get them)

I am not saying I will be buying all organic either(there are  quite a few baby outfits that the baby needs :o) and they are not organic so I guess we have to make some sacrifices but I will definitely stick with organics when we buy Bedding, Pajamas, Undershirts & socks, Diapers (or undies),Baby toiletries such as shampoo/body wash/lotion etc. Other organics we will focus on besides the food of course will be baby items such as sippy cups, bowls, etc.

Organic can be costly but they are well worth the cost.

We are so glad about our decision to have a shower of Hope instead of a regular baby shower, donations for a good cause makes more sense to us.

By the way, we just noticed that the singer Shakira and her baby's daddy are doing something similar but for UNISEF!

More baby steps...

Exciting stuff…

 Today was our first home study visit with our social worker- praise the Lord!  (3 more visits to go :0) Yey, more Baby steps!

Getting closer to our Lil’ Cupcake!

While in the meeting we had the chance to meet a new social worker native from Fujian Province – How interesting is that?

More Exciting stuff…

We have been talking to the director of Nutrition and Orphanage Assistance - 

Love without Boundaries Foundation.

We are so inspired by all the stories of love, hope and healing; so many precious children that will have a more positive outlook in life because of it...

Love without Boundaries have touched the lives of children by providing education, foster care, healing homes, medical, nutrition and assistance to thousands of orphans in China including our baby girl.

We want to help out sooo… we have decided to have a “Shower of Hope”.

A baby shower  but in lieu of baby gifts donation will be made directly to the Love  without Boundaries Foundation – specifically the True Children’s Healing Home in Fujian China :O)

We will post more info very soon...

I & A

Ready?

Our baby girl is never far from our thoughts and conversations.

We are excited and we just can’t wait to have her home with us of course,

but there are times when we look into our eyes and say to each other…

Wow our lives are going to change forever! Are we ready to let go of the life we have today?

Are we ready to let go of our impromptu mini weekend getaways 

or our Lazy Sundays?

What about our alone time? Lunch dates? Movie dates?

Are we ready for all the things that come with parenting a toddler and dealing with noise, Toys everywhere, Tantrums, lots of messy cleanups or potty training?

 Oh my!

We know our life is going to change and it is going to change a lot.

We know there will be challenges and we will have to make some major adjustments but we also know it is going to be so worth it :0)

Baby?  Bring it!

We have been waiting for so long to meet our baby girl,

To hug her, to kiss her, to hold her in our arms and tell her

“You are wanted and loved more than you will ever know”

We look forward to a life time of memories as we watch her grow.

We will be there for her always no matter.

She will be cherished, she will be adored.

She will be our Gracie, our blessing from God :0)

I & A

ever so s-l-o-w...

Another week gone and not even our first home visit scheduled yet! 

The process of updating our home study is going oh so s-l-o-w… 

We totally regret hiring them that’s for sure! We are hoping and praying that sometime next week at least we are able to schedule our first visit 

(4 visits for China program :0( 

Wishing we could let go of our expectations during this process but sooooo hard because now we have a baby waiting for us…

We are so tired of waiting :0(

I & F

Our baby girl is definitely worth the wait!

Here’s what everyone wants to know…

What name have we chosen for our little girl?

The answer is we haven’t quite decided yet.

We want to make sure that her name is meaningful of course :0)

 So here is what we know so far

1. The name Grace WILL be part of her name… It means “Gift from God” and that is exactly what she is to us.

2. We want to include her Chinese name

3. We also have two names that are meaningful to us….

Yeah we know we are getting a little carried away!   So we shall see…We will decide hopefully before we travel to meet her :0)

 (Grace in Chinese)

  

We have been referring to our baby girl as
"our Little Cupcake" until she's home that is... 

We kinda stole (ahem) "borrowed" it from a super cute little story book we bought for her.

 I & F

Preparing for changes...

·        

       There is no adoption without grief and loss…

We have been preparing to adopt our baby for the longest time, but she doesn't have any idea of how her little world is about to change. She will experience grief for the loss of her little world as she knows it- the place she considers her home, her caregivers, her playmates, even familiar foods, smells and sounds.

The life disruption and big changes she will soon experience will be very difficult for her no doubt.

We just pray that the Lord will heal her little heart, mind and spirit.

Poor baby, we are going to do our best to comfort her and shower her with all of our love and attention so that she can adjust to her new life with us.

It is so sad to know that even very young children experience grieving so we definitely have to make sure we acknowledge and support her throughout the transition. 

We plan  to keep our baby's world small during the first weeks at home by limiting interaction with other people and by spending as much time as possible home with her- making sure that we are her primary caregivers as she learns how to trust us and learns that we are her parents.

We have been somewhat concerned with the fact that our Little Cupcake is starting to communicate with her foster family in her native language which will make things more difficult once we finally meet.

We were planning on learning very basic Mandarin but the province where she lives mainly communicates with their very own dialect (different from Mandarin).

Coming from a person whose native language is not English, (I) can tell you it is very frustrating when a person is trying to say something and no matter how much they try, they are not understood.  In my mind, I still translate from Spanish to English before I attempt to open my mouth. Many times I just open my mouth and when I can't remember how to say or pronounce a word I just resort to hand motions in order to communicate.  

So, in order to help our Little Cupcake communicate her feelings, wants and needs with less frustrations, we decided to learn as much as we can about baby sign language. Many people think that sign language is just for people with hearing impairments but that's not true.  It has been proven, that even babies (without auditory impairments) can express their wants and needs using sign language before they can actually say words!

Baby sign language is a method in which specific hand-shapes and motions are used to convey words and meaning with others. These exact hand-shapes and motions are typically the same as the one used in American Sign Language but some people choose to modify it and use their own variations of it (that's OK too, as long as the words/signs are used in a consistent way as not to confuse the child).

We know our little girl will be going through so much in a short period of time, we will continue to pray for a smooth transition.

We are still planning to learn a few Chinese words to help us get by so wish us luck as we sign and butcher the Chinese (Mandarin) language one step at a time…

Anything for our Little Cupcake :o)

Waiting Child Lullaby...

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child,
I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--- Pamela Durkota

Attachment and bonding...

We are so excited about adopting our Little Cupcake and bringing her home! So of course, when we talk about our hopes and dreams for the future, we talk about the good things like: how wonderful it will be when we finally get to cuddle her (and "spoil" her :0) all the kisses she will get, the laughter and fun we will have with her. The thought of having our baby with us (after all this crazy adoption process) and then not be able to baby her because she wants nothing to do with us is just so very sad and heart-breaking.  

When we started our adoption journey we thought our baby was going to be living in an orphanage so we became somewhat obsessed with reading anything on adoption attachment and bonding. We learned that lifelong bonds are formed through the cycle of attachment. For example: a baby cries because she is hungry or needs a diaper change, when the mother consistently meets her needs, the baby learns to trust.
The repetition of this cycle forms the foundation for healthy relationships in the child’s life.

Unfortunately, it is no secret that orphanages are under staffed and there are way too many children to receive individualized care.

It gives us a lot of comfort knowing that our baby girl has been living with a foster family since she was just a few months old and by looking at the pictures you can tell she has been very well taken care of :0)

Living in a home environment with caregivers that care and meet her needs will hopefully facilitate our very own attachment and bonding when she comes home to us.

Of course, we will do our part to create opportunities to promote attachment/bonding so here are some of the things we have learn about and plan to do:  

 Meet her needs in a quick and consistent manner

Cuddle and spend as much time as possible with her

"wear" baby as much as possible 

Massage while playing soothing music

Bottele-Feed while rocking her in a rocking chair

Co-sleep 

Play, sing and read to her (a lot)

Maintain familiar routines as much as possible

Delay visits of family and friends for a few weeks 

Do not allow anyone other than Mommy and Daddy hold, feed, and change baby until she learns who her parents are :0)

Hey, anything for our Little Cupcake! 

Oh my goodness, we just can’t wait!

We have been doing lots of adoption-related reading lately :0)

The Red Thread...

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance.

The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break

-         Chinese Proverb

Thinking about Life-Books...

When we started our adoption journey, we were encouraged to do a life book for our child.  If you don’t know what a life book is (we didn't)  … 

It is a very personal book that tells the story of the child and how he/she became part of the family.

 Unlike a baby book, the parents use factual information, pictures, art work etc. to tell the child’s story before, during and after adoption,

Information may include:

           ~~  Facts about child’s birth family and reason for adoption placement

     ~Facts about child's life in the orphanage or foster care

     ~How the adoptive family prepared to welcome their new child (the adoption process, ~getting nursery ready, showers etc.

     ~Adoption process

     ~first day as a family

Of course it is very important to tell the adoption story honestly and in age-appropriate manner. The main goal is to encourage the child to ask questions about the adoption and express feelings.

We absolutely love the idea of making a Life Book for our baby but at the same time it is pretty intimidating.

How do we write about relinquishment/abandonment, unknown birth parents etc?

Our first instinct is to protect our child from anything that may hurt her in any way but at the same time we understand the importance of sharing the information we do have with her. There is one thing we do know for sure- we will never pass judgment.  Regardless of the reason why our little one was placed for adoption, we are so thankful to the birth mother for choosing life for the child she couldn't care for (when she had other options). We want our child to know that we respect and honor her for the role she plays in our family

Anyway, we purchased a Life Book (the easy fill-in the blanks type of book) very cute but just realized that it doesn't include pages with key information such as information about birth Country, foster care etc. We think it is more appropriate for a domestic adoption (Can’t return it because we bought it over a year ago :0(

Here’s what we have done so far:

~Completed an online class about Life Books through Adoption Learning Partners     

     ~Purchase the eBook for Kindle: Before you were mine” (we just love the idea of including God in our adoption story)

For now, we will continue to learn more about how to create a life book and what information to include for our baby girl…

Our baby's province...

Slideshow of Longyan

Longyan, China is where our Little Cupcake is currently living with her foster family.

We can't wait to go to China, but we know it will still take a while so while we get ready to bring her home we continue to learn as much as we can about Longyan as well as anything related to Chinese culture, traditions, celebrations, foods ... you get the point. So here is some information about Longyan...

information we plan to share with our daughter someday :0)

Longyan in Chinese Pinyin:  Lóng yán

Longyan is in a mountainous, forested area in the Fujian Province (also called Min for short) is in southeastern China. The province is about 46,000 square miles in area and much of it covered by subtropical vegetation (about 40 percent of the province is covered in forest) Only about 20 percent of Fujian's land area is suitable for agriculture, but that portion is highly fertile,  The north, west and south mountains form its border, while to the east of the province overlooks (some 100 miles across the straits) Taiwan. 

Longyan has a population of 2.87 million and there is a lot of diversity of traditions and values.

Longyan also has its own dialect (It’s not easy to understand for Mandarin speakers).

Large ethnic group of people better known as “Hakka People" takes up 75% of Longyan entire population.

                     Hakka Round-houses

Longyan Food:  The dishes in Longyan are taking Hakka dishes as its main body, which stresses on hot, mild taste instead of cold. The more outstanding feature of Longyan dishes are  aromatic and spicy. yeah, we can eat spicy!

The exact day our baby girl was born...

We were looking through our old blog we previously used to record the first 2 ½ years of our adoption process...

Check out our old blog entry - the one that describes what we were doing the exact day our baby was born in China! 

God works in Mysterious ways...

Blog entry...

Russia, here we come!!!

 We have waited for soooooo long! Dossiers finally ready!

Documents for Perm and Nizhny Novgorod, Russia notarized, apostilled and ready to go!

Thank you Jesus!

  Here we are waiting for our documents!

             My Honey looks "prego" he was carrying the dossiers 

                     under his shirt  to protect them from the rain :0)

Who knew... While we dreamed, hoped and prepared to find our baby in Russia... She was just being born in China!

Here’s the bottom line…

I & A