The purpose of starting this blog was mainly
to record our adoption journey and hopefully share it with our daughter
someday.
We want our daughter to know that she was
wanted, prayed for, and loved even before we met her. We want her to know that we are
honored to be her parents and we are very grateful because we were able to
fulfill our dreams of completing our family through adoption.
With that said, I really wanted to write a
nice entry in our blog today but I guess I will have to do that some other
time. Today, I just feel the need to vent a little…
I consider myself an assertive person but I
have been caught off guard a little too many times and I am so upset with
myself for not responding accordingly…
I hate how some people (some highly educated
people included, although intelligence have nothing to do with sensitivity) that
take it upon themselves to ask things such as “why don’t you/can’t you get pregnant? why can't you have "your own kid"? or Why don’t you get a surrogate?
Really? Are you serious?
Adoption is not something families take
lightly, it involves lots of soul searching, lots of prayer, lots of research,
lots of questions and many discussions with professionals as well as other
families who have been through the process.
I have to admit with those questions I always get caught
off guard and find myself offering explanations as if to justify myself. I am
so angry right now I could cry.
Adoption is not second best and adoption was definitely our decision! Why would anyone think it’s OK to ask such personal questions? I
would never dare to ask anyone such questions! How would they like if I ask… Why did you get pregnant? or Why would you
get pregnant again? And offer an alternative such as… you should adopt- there
are so many orphans in need of families in the world. Why would you want to
bring another kid into this world? They probably
would think I am crossing the line right? Probably kick my butt for it. I just
don’t understand how is it any different?
Am I overly sensitive? This has happened
several times but for some strange reason it all hit me at once. All this time
I have been more concerned about not hurting anyone’s feelings or being rude
when the offended one is me! Not sure if anyone else has been through this and I
wish I knew what the right answer would be. I spoke with my Honey about it and
we both agreed to answer with adoption is our choice period.
I am still upset about it, I will survive I
know, but I definitely have to practice for when people start making “comments”
or “asking questions” when our baby comes home. I know one thing… Mamma Bear
will not be so nice and polite!
This is what I want to ask...
This is what sometimes I pray for...
